Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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