Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
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It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
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His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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