went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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