there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize