I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize