she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize