So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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