dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
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