the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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