I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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