i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize