shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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