No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize