you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
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Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
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But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize