Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
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Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
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Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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