Do you still have your period?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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