i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize