I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
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Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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