I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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