Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
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We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
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How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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