My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There's always time for handjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize