my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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