My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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