I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
"it" just moved
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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