left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize