I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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