Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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