Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
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I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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