He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
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I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
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My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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