i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
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