Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize