lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize