she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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