And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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