morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
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Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think i got beer on your cat.
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