my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
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had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
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We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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