Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
foreskin is a definite game changer
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize