i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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