They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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