it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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