Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize