he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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