I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
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I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
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So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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