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update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
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