: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
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i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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