Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize