hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Girls should come with a carfax report
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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