I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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