If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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