Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize